Adam Sandler Would Be Proud

One of the Update's subscribers suggested that we share these Passover songs with our readers, so they can sing them at their seders on Monday night. (By the way, bad time for a seder, given the NCAA basketball finals that night. Oh, well.) All songs are copyright 2007 by Chuck Hadden.

Die Pharaoh (sung to the tune of Dayenu)

Pharaoh made us slaves in Egypt.
Paid no wages; off were we ripped.
Pyr’mids? Built ‘em.
Could’ve killed ‘em.
Die Pharaoh.

Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die Pharaoh, die, die die.

God was angry, angry plenty.
Sent down ten plagues, won’t need twenty.
Ten is e-nough
To make life tough.
Die Pharaoh.

Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die Pharaoh, die, die die.

Pharaoh would not let the Jews be,
So he chased ‘em to the Red Sea.
We walked through it.
Pharaoh blew it.
Die Pharaoh.

Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die, die, Pharaoh.
Die Pharaoh, die, die die.


Eight Days a Year (to the tune of Eight Days a Week)

Ooh, I need your matzoh.
That’s my only wish.
Just one other thing, babe:
That’s gefilte fish.

Lots-a, mat-zoh,
Lots-a mat-zoh.
Ain’t got nothin’ but matzoh, babe,
Eight days a year.

Eight days a year,
You cannot ea-eat bre-ead
Eight days a year,
Thoughts of chametz fill your head.

Ask me the Four Questions.
I’ll answer them for you.
Why is this night diff’rent?
I’ll give you a clue.

Mat-zoh, mo-ror,
Re-cline, dip more.
Ain’t got nothin’ but matzoh, babe,
Eight days a year…
Eight days a year…
Eight-days-of-the-year.

(What a) Terrible Plague (to the tune of (What a) Wonderful World)

Moses said, “Please let my people go.”
Pharaoh said, “Moses, no, no, no.”
Moses said, “Well, you’ll be sorry then.”
By the way, can you count to ten?”
What a terrible plague there will be.

Don’t know how God’s gonna get it done,
But I know, it won’t be fun.
And I know that God is mad at you.
And I know that Egypt will be blue.
What a terrible plague there will be.

[chorus]
Moses foretold the plagues that were comin,’
And he spread the news.
‘Cause maybe by paintin’ a bleak picture baby,
Pharaoh would release the Jews.

Flies and locusts, no they never fail.
Boils and darkness, there’s always hail.
Blood and frogs and gnats and murrain …
That don’t work, first born get slain.
What a terrible plague there will be.

[chorus]
Now Moses said, “I can’t walk upon water”
When he saw the sea.
But maybe by takin’ a dry shortcut baby,
I can get my people free.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, never fail.
Nah, nah, nah, there’s always hail.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, and murrain …
Nah, nah, nah, first born get slain.
What terrible plagues there have been.