53

Time for our annual Richard Nixon quote upon returning from the beach: We're "tanned, rested, and ready." Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the White Sox. Hey, whoever's job it was to take care of the team while the Update was on vacation dropped the ball. The Sox lost eight in a row -- only a win last night prevented the team from matching its most recent futility streak from August 1991 of nine straight losses. The Sox reached the depths of the A.L. Central, even falling behind the lowly Royals. Last night's win brought them back into a tie with K.C., whom they've beaten seven of nine times this season.

The best thing to happen during our time off was Bobby Jenks. He tied the Major League mark for consecutive batters retired at 41, essentially a 13.2-inning perfect game. His steak ended last night when Jenks gave up a hit to the first batter he faced, but Big Bobby went on to earn his 34th save. That means that Jenks has saved 61.8% of the games the Sox have won this year -- an incredibly high total. And he's bringing the heat once again, consistently throwing in the mid to upper 90s.

The other piece of good news during the last two weeks was Kenny Williams's signing of Jermaine Dye to a contract extension. Dye, who is having an off year, still is having a better year powerwise than anyone else on the team. So much for not negotiating contracts during the season.

Oh yeah, we do like Jerry Owens. Even after enduring a horrendous slump, he's hitting .252 and has stolen 19 bases (two last night) in 22 attempts. Owens, Josh Fields and Danny Richar -- all of whom started the season in the minors -- are looking like they have a future with the big league club.

And speaking of additions to the team, the Update was glad to see the Sox nab Mike Myers. We loved him as Wayne in Wayne's World and as Austin Powers/Dr. Evil in the spy spoofs. Hopefully, they didn't have to pay him "one billll-yun dollars." Oh, it's the left-handed submariner, you say. Well, that works too.

Anyway, the Magic Number (we're still calculating it only because that's the name of this blog) is now 53. More important, the elimination number for the Sox is 26. We hate to say this, but let's get this stinker of a season behind us and start over in 2008. About the only thing worth watching the rest of this year is Jim Thome's pursuit of 500 home runs. We predict he will get the eight more he needs to join Frank Thomas and ARod in attaining that goal. Go Thome! Go Sox!